Friendships are often one of the most joyful and rewarding parts of growing up. They certainly are at Camp Winaukee. For boys, friendships can be the cornerstone of their social world. Whether it’s sharing laughs during a game of baseball or teaming up for an adventurous camp activity, friendships are essential. However, they can also be challenging at times, as we all know.

As parents, it’s hard to watch our children go through moments of exclusion or hurt feelings, especially when we don’t always know how to help. But just like physical growth, emotional growth comes with its ups and downs — and it’s through these moments that boys learn resilience, empathy, and self-worth.

At Camp Winaukee, we understand how important it is to foster an environment where boys aged 7 to 15 can grow, build relationships, and navigate the complexities of friendship. Whether it’s on the sports field or in a cabin, friendships are constantly evolving. Today, we’re going to explore how parents can support their sons through friendship struggles and help them build emotional resilience while reinforcing their sense of self.

Understanding Friendship Struggles

We’ve all been there…whether it was something dramatic in middle school or a quieter moment that we kept to ourselves, we know what it feels like to be left out. It’s an experience that can leave us questioning our worth and whether something is wrong with us.

This is especially true for young boys who are still learning about how to navigate complex social dynamics. When any child faces exclusion or tension in his friendships, it’s natural for them to feel hurt, confused, and unsure about what went wrong.

For a parent, watching your son struggle with friendships can be tough. It’s easy to want to step in, fix the situation, and protect him from the discomfort. But it’s important to recognize that these struggles, although painful in the moment, are opportunities for growth. They are moments that allow our sons to learn emotional resilience, gain a better understanding of themselves and their relationships.

How to Support Your Son Without Fixing It

The first step in helping your son through friendship struggles is understanding that your role as a parent is not to “fix” the problem but to support him as he learns to handle it. Instead of rushing in with advice or solutions, take a step back and create a space for him to express his feelings. Don’t dismiss his emotions with phrases like, “It’s not a big deal,” or “You’ll get over it.” Instead, validate what he’s feeling. When your son is upset about a friendship issue, it’s important to acknowledge that what he’s feeling is real. Saying something like, “I can see you’re really disappointed” or “I understand this is really hard for you” lets him know that it’s okay to feel hurt, frustrated, or confused. Validation helps him feel seen and understood, which can be incredibly comforting.

Friendships are fluid, and sometimes they change; whether it’s due to misunderstandings, growing apart, or natural shifts in interests. Encourage your son to see these changes not as a reflection of his worth but as part of the normal ebb and flow of relationships. Help him understand that while it might hurt, it’s perfectly normal for friendships to evolve over time.

As tempting as it may be to offer unsolicited advice, it’s important not to lecture your son about what he “should” have done differently. Instead, encourage him to think through the situation and come up with his own solutions while also reflecting on his role in the relationship. This will help him develop problem-solving skills and a sense of ownership over his social life. Let him explore his emotions and guide him with open-ended questions like, “How do you think we could approach this situation differently?” or “What might you want to say to your friend?”

Helping Him Navigate Conflict

Conflict is a normal part of life, especially in friendships. It’s crucial to help your son see that a challenge in a friendship doesn’t have to be the end of that relationship. Sometimes, misunderstandings happen or feelings get hurt, but these situations can often be resolved with open communication and empathy.

Help your son understand that there are constructive ways to approach resolving conflicts. Encourage him to think about the situation from his friend’s perspective. A conversation that starts with, “I felt upset when…” can often clear up misunderstandings and help mend a fractured friendship. While you don’t want to take charge of the situation, you can give him cues to approach the conversation calmly and thoughtfully.

While helping your son process the current friendship struggle, remind him that it’s always okay to make new friends. It can be empowering for him to know that there are plenty of opportunities for him to build new connections, whether it’s through a shared interest or a new activity at camp.

Providing a Support System

It’s important for your son to know that he doesn’t have to face friendship challenges alone. Encourage him to lean on trusted friends, mentors, and family members when he’s feeling down. At Camp Winaukee, counselors and peers are always there to lend a helping hand or offer advice. Knowing who to go to when he’s struggling with a friendship is a key part of building emotional resilience.

Empowering Your Son Through Friendship Struggles

The most powerful thing you can do as a parent is to empower your son to handle friendship struggles on his own.

Let him know that it’s okay to have difficult moments and that these challenges don’t define him. By validating his feelings, encouraging resilience, and providing tools to navigate these social challenges, you’ll help your son grow into a confident and emotionally resilient young man.

At Camp Winaukee, we’re dedicated to providing a supportive environment where boys can develop lifelong friendships while also learning how to navigate the ups and downs that come with those relationships. Friendships can be messy, but they’re also one of the most valuable aspects of childhood. By supporting your son through these moments, you’re helping him build the emotional strength and self-confidence that will serve him throughout his life.